Celebrating Yourself is Radical (And Here's Why I Did It Anyway)
How milestone moments become opportunities to understand your story more deeply
The Birthday That Changed Everything
I'm writing to you from the other side of 40, still glowing from a Gemini birthday celebration that became something much bigger than I ever expected. What started as a party transformed into a living story of reflection, connection, and the profound act of letting yourself be truly celebrated.
If you've been following my work in narrative navigation, you know I believe our stories aren't just things that happen to us—they're the compass we use to understand who we are and where we're headed. This milestone birthday became the perfect laboratory for that belief.
Thank you to every amazing human who came out to make my 40th birthday one I will never forget!
From Photo Slideshow to Life Story Map
Initially, I thought it would be fun to have a simple slideshow of my life playing in the background at my party. But that innocent project quickly spiraled into something transformational: combing through over 20,000 photos to create a complete timeline spanning my entire life, from my first ultrasound to age 40.
Visually seeing my life unfold chapter by chapter changed everything.
I found myself weaving together a personal tapestry of meaning, unearthing patterns I hadn't recognized before. For the first time, I could see how creativity has been my constant companion, how community has shaped every major transition, and how reflection isn't just nostalgic—it's revelatory.
The Power of Story Sharing
The celebration didn't stop with photos. I curated a Storytime event where friends and family shared birthday memories and stories in small groups. Standing in the middle of that party, I not only felt incredibly celebrated for my 40 years of life, but I watched each person uncover pieces of themselves through excavating our shared stories.
It was a beautiful reminder that we are made up of so many incredible layers, and that storytelling is a pathway to deeper self-knowledge.
The Magic of Community Coming Together
But here's what really made this night unforgettable: the incredible humans who showed up to make it happen.
My parents, John and Mary-Anne, flew out from the East Coast and made this party possible. They have always been my biggest supporters, and it was so special to be able to show them what I actually do (versus just the recaps they get on our weekly phone calls).
My brother Ben and his girlfriend Jamie made the trip, bringing that special sibling energy only he can provide.
My dear friend Rue flew in specifically for the celebration, the kind of gesture that reminds you how deeply you're loved.
Mike outdid himself by making the most incredible carrot cake from scratch—every bite was a reminder of how beautiful it is to be cared for so thoughtfully.
Jessica Monroy captured every moment with her stunning photography, turning the evening into a visual narrative I'll treasure forever.
Marisa was my behind-the-scenes MVP, organizing all the details so the evening flowed seamlessly.
Anne and Tara helped set up and support the party, while Elizabeth made pipe cleaner crowns that were a real hit with everyone.
And then there was everyone else—all my friends, family, and community who filled the space with laughter, stories, and genuine celebration. Each person contributed to the tapestry of the evening in their own beautiful way.
A Story Prompt to Try This Week
At my birthday Storytime event, this question sparked some of the most meaningful conversations. Try it for yourself:
🎁 The Gift That Changed Everything
Tell about a gift—either one you gave or received—that was unexpectedly meaningful. What's the story behind it?
Questions to go deeper:
Paint the picture: What was the occasion? Who was involved? What were you hoping for?
What happened when the gift was given or received? What was the reaction?
Why did this gift matter more than expected? How did it impact your relationship or understanding?
Use this prompt to journal, connect with friends, or start conversations wherever you are. Stories are bridges to deeper connection.
Three Life-Changing Insights About Stories and Celebration
This elaborate, story-centered birthday party crystallized three powerful truths:
🎉 Celebrating Yourself is Radical and Necessary
Especially for those of us who spend our lives holding space for others, taking time to honor our own journey is both powerful and essential. Self-celebration isn't selfish—it's strategic.
💖 Community Amplifies Our Stories
Life is always better with loved ones by your side, but more than that, sharing our stories in community helps us see ourselves more clearly. Other people often see patterns and strengths we miss in our own narratives.
🗺️ Reflection Creates Direction
Taking a pause from our busy lives to slow down and zoom out allows us to tap into what's truly at our core. Looking back isn't just nostalgic—it's a strategic visioning exercise for what comes next.
The Science Behind Story Reflection
Here's what fascinates me about milestone moments: they're not just markers of time, they're opportunities to understand your story more deeply. When I created my photo timeline, I wasn't just being nostalgic—I was engaging in something research shows can improve both mental and physical health.
A landmark study published in the Journal of Medical Humanities found that autobiographical writing practices create measurable improvements in wellbeing. The research shows that when we actively engage with our life experiences—whether through journaling, photo reflection, or story mapping—we're creating real conditions for healing and growth.
It's not just therapeutic; it's transformative.
Creating Your Own Life Chapters Map
Every human alive should do this personal storytelling reflection practice at some point. It's truly transformational.
That's why I've made the Life Chapters Map Worksheet I created for my birthday available as a free resource.
This tool guides you through the same process of using photos and prompts to map your story and find meaningful connections—the foundation work that helps you gain clarity about where you've been so you can step confidently into where you want to go.
Your Story is Still Being Written
If there's one thing turning 40 taught me, it's that our stories are always evolving, and we get to be the conscious authors of what comes next.
Whether you're navigating a career transition, a life change, or simply wanting to understand your journey more deeply, remember that reflection brings direction. Your past isn't just history—it's the foundation for writing your next chapter with intention and clarity.
You get to be both the author and the protagonist of what comes next.
Ready to explore your own story with guidance? If you're in a career or life transition (what I call "turn-the-page moments"), I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute Direction Discovery call to explore where you are in your story and where you want to go next.
